I can’t quite believe that it has already been 5 months since I wrote my last blog post.
I can’t quite believe that it has only been 5 months since I wrote my last blog post.
So many things happened in that span of time and now I ponder on everything I’ve lost — and everything I’ve gained. While I know that I am a mere pilgrim on a journey, it does feel as if I have been perpetually in transition. I write this as multiple shifts go on in me and around me. I have just said goodbye to a beautiful season and I brace myself for what is yet to come.
When I was young, I relished in the fact that I had no permanent address. We shuffled back and forth between 4 houses because my parents had different things to do in different cities. I didn’t think it was possible, but the number of residences and cities has only since increased. And while I haven’t lived with my parents for several years now, it seems as if I have carried out a similar way of living.
This bouncing from one city to another used to appeal to me, yet my heart now longs for permanence and stability. It’s rather jolting to realize that at 23, I have no real roots anywhere. Yet the Lord reassures me,
“What’s important is that you are rooted in Me.”
So I move yet again. And as much as the thought of building from the ground up unnerves me, I understand that faithfulness is not just doing what the Lord has called me to; it is also knowing just until when He has called me to it. It is also faithfulness to stop, to leave, and to start anew.
I remember that all this is grace. The amount of time I get to spend in a certain place, the things I learn, and the people I gain – this is all grace. Nothing is ever really due me and I am never really guaranteed anything. Yet the Lord’s kindness assures me that in every season past and in every season to come, I remain to be a recipient of His grace.
For this, I have come to be sure of: He calls me out of certain places in His wisdom and timing, and invites me to walk into new ones in His goodness and mercy. Anything that He ever asks of me is meant to reflect His glory in my story. There may be things that I have to lose but I get to gain more of Him. Isn’t that all I could ever ask for?
And so here, in the impermanence of places and people, I find myself secure in the permanence of His love. There are a lot of things I don’t know but I believe that in the unknown, He will make Himself known.
Genesis 12:1-2 is a very consistent word given about moving, and it is something that I have pondered on through the seasons of my life. Yet once again, I take comfort in the words of the Lord to Abraham and embrace them as His words to me.
The Lord had said to Abram, “Go from your country,
your people and your father’s household
to the land I will show you.
I will make you into a great nation,
and I will bless you;
I will make your name great,
and you will be a blessing."
Say this with me: The Lord says that He will bless me.
Not break me.
Not burden me.
Not suck the breath out of me.
In this new land, He will bless me.
And He will make me be a blessing, wherever He takes me, for however long He gives me. This is not something I have to force nor is it something I have to strive for, for it is the Lord who will make me be a blessing wherever I go – not me.
Beloved, isn’t it true? All we ever have to be is faithful. All we ever have to be is His.
Wherever our paths lead, we can choose to run the race marked for us with perseverance. Even when it’s hard, even when we’d rather not, we can choose to because we have His grace.
Even in the unseen, we can trust that the hand of the Father will lead us through.