You guys, I’m not kidding.
Two men got down on one knee to propose to two of my friends last week and while I deeply rejoice with them, I can’t get out of my head the fact that life is quickly passing me by. It’s surreal to think that we went from talking about wedding plans to them actually already planning their weddings and here I am, still unengaged. The days have blended into each other, minutes and hours quickly whir past, and I’m left there standing, wondering, where did all the time go?
I don’t want to get left behind and so here I declare that even though I’m single, I will get engaged. I know, I know. Getting engaged is a commitment and it can be extremely difficult, but it’s something I want for my life.
I think it’s something you should desire too.
But first, I have to clarify. By engaged, I don’t mean someone putting a ring on my finger.
: to participate; to be fully involved in activity
: to be greatly committed and interested
Through all these years, I’ve tried. I force myself to pay attention and to fully be in a moment, but at the end of it, I revert back to my usual pacing – a little detached from reality. I don’t know about all of you, but I’m always charging full speed ahead. My brother points out to me that whenever God gives me a vision, I’d drop everything in the now and eagerly fixate on getting there, always one foot out the door. And that’s not bad, but maybe it’s not entirely good either.
Because how many of us can attest to the fact that God’s visions don’t immediately materialize in one night or one year or even one decade, for that matter?
You see, in attempts to live fully, I want to quickly get on to the next thing. I work and hurry thinking that I need to make up more time, that I’m making the most out of my time, but maybe all I’m doing is throw time away. Because it makes one ask, am I ever really present?
My friends and I would watch travel and adventure videos, and all we could think is: we want to be there, where they are, because here just seems so mediocre in comparison. There is adrenaline and exhilirating and here is… ordinary. However, I can’t help but wonder, what happens after all the rush goes away? They can’t exactly jump from a plane every day, can they? Then their there becomes our here and everything seems mundane again.
But is it really true? Does awe and wonder always have to be there, never here? In always aching to be there, am I ever really here?
Have I ever lived life fully and made the most out of every moment, moment-by-moment? Have you?
The clouds peeking through the buildings and billboards as the MRT speeds through, the extra time to undividedly speak with God when stuck in traffic, the friendly smile of your officemate as she walks past your area, the chocolate swirls that are your mother’s eyes, the iridescent colors of the sun appearing in the suds as you wash your dishes, the smell of flowers seeping through the whirl of the washing machine – it’s all there, but does anyone still notice?
It’s not as if I plan to do some rehabilitation and unplug from electronics. I’m not trying to say we all stop doing anything seemingly apart from nature. This is not a call to scale the Grand Canyon and to dive the Great Barrier Reef. Maybe what we lack is not more weekend getaways; maybe what we lack is a fresh perspective, a look through the eyes of wonder that see His hand in every detail.
I’m excited for the next season. I’m excited for all His promises to come to pass and I’m looking forward to experiencing Him in different ways.
But I also know that He’s just as here as He is there. His very name says it – I Am. In the present is the presence of a very present God.
I’m not there yet but I am here and I Am is here.
And I don’t have to wait until that special someone comes to get engaged with a person. Here, now, I can find a good number of people whose lives can fully intersect mine. Here, now, I can be truly, deeply aware of their lives and their situations. Here, now, I can stand with them in their battles and struggles.
Isn’t it time to stop knowing people through stalking their Facebook accounts and start knowing them by actually talking to them?
Don’t just behold life. Take part in life. Fully be where you are. Fully be, right where you are.
I don’t want to wake up one day and cry out, like Jacob, “Surely the Lord is in this place and I didn’t know it!”
For He is in air and space and time, and He is in the in betweens and the plot twists and the situations unwanted and the tough moments and the seeming delays. In Him, all things were created and in Him, all things hold together. His fullness is already here, not just there.
Grace is here. Joy is here. Glory is here. The full life is here, because God is here.
It’s that “yes” to God and the invitation to become His Bride. It’s that “yes” to life.
Here, now, we find the Perfect Lover whose love knows no end.
Doesn’t that make you want to get engaged too?