Hey there. It’s been a while.
For months, I thought about sitting down and documenting some of the thoughts that have occurred to me during these rather tumultuous times, but I must confess that as a master’s student required to submit numerous research papers and as a writer being paid to churn out 40,000-50,000 words every month, I found myself exhausted at the mere thought of composing one more paragraph – be it for this blog or my personal social media pages.
But this year, I do want to be more deliberate about writing “for myself” again. The mere act of it may feel like it’s something I have to discipline myself into, but make no mistake, I’m doing it because I want to. I want to rediscover writing as an art form and a joy – not just as a means to an end.
It’s probably most apt for me to do so right now, as it echoes what has been resonating in my mind for the past year. In many ways, the lockdown has challenged me to find the wonder in the mundane; to find delight in the little, everyday things that have otherwise become routinary. Although this wouldn’t have been much of a chore per se, I did find it especially difficult to do so when confronted by the frustrating events I watched unfold around the world.
Now, some would say that it should have only been proper to maintain an attitude of cynicism over the past year, but I disagree. It is not that I am apathetic to the pains of others, nor am I blind to the horrors that occur in this generation. Indeed, daily, I also wrestle with my anger towards systemic corruption, horrific discrimination, and fallen human nature.
Yet there is one thing that the Lord reassured me with during these trying times: that even amid all this, there is a greater reality to be found in the promise of Christ — and so this is the reality that I do my best to fixate on. For a while, I feared that my doing so would have made it seem like I was minimizing the painful realities that many people have to deal with. But eventually, the Lord made me realize that it wasn’t so. After all, it’s not the canceling of one reality in favor of the other; it’s simply acknowledging the transcendence of one over the other. It isn’t so much about seeing life through rose-colored glasses as it is seeing things for what they truly are: full of hope, still — even when the circumstances would make us think otherwise.
Hence, inasmuch as I have spent previous years of my life fixated on making right the evil of this world, 2020 has shifted my perspective. Rather than acting in mere response to cruel realities, I want to be proactive in the way I exhibit the reality of Christ. It may mean having to navigate more tensions moving forward, but I would like to be truer to the way God has conditioned me to see this world — not as an optimist, but as a realist; not by the definition of Hobbes and Thucydides, but by the definition of Christ.
After all, it is very real that after twenty-five years of sin, the Lord has been gracious enough to still want me alive. I may still be imperfect and wretched in many ways, yet He views me as righteous in His sight — not because the former is not true, but because the latter is of the greater truth. It is a fact that is never not deserving of wonder.
I shall then continue in sharing the wonders that I find. They will vary, but know that they’re all of the goodness of Christ, nonetheless. And truly, I am grateful to have all of you continuously journeying with me. This blog is turning six years old this year and it amazes me to think that we have, in many ways, shared these changes, musings, and adventures together.
So, here’s to the best that is yet to come. I don’t quite know where God will take us after the lockdowns lift and the world eases into this shift, but I know that the Lord will work all these things out for our good and His glory. Rest assured, there are so many wonders we have yet to find.