Men, You Are God’s Gift to Women.

I’m not talking about the guy who arrogantly flaunts and flirts and personally tags himself as God’s gift to women.

(Hi. If that’s you, I’m telling you straight up: you’re probably not, actually. Sorry).

I’m talking about you who care so much about Biblical manhood that you’d invest time and money into learning how you can better serve others by being the best you could be. I’m talking to you who wouldn’t subscribe to the stereotypical basis of what a man looks like and would rather break the standards by following His standard.

I’ve told you before how much we needed more men like you, but have I ever mentioned how much we appreciated you?

When you lead and not dictate,
When you are tested yet stay committed,
When you graciously listen and communicate,
When you have vision and take action,
When you pray and obey,
When you take responsibility and not make excuses,
When you rise up and take initiative,
When you give and don’t require,
When you respect and don’t expect,
When you are passionate and compassionate,
When you affirm and correct,
When you protect and pursue,
When you fight for the wronged,
When you forgive what is wrong,

When you refuse to be passive and jump right in,
When you step back and choose to be patient,
When you go out of your way,
When you show up,
When you don’t leave,

You are God’s gift to women.

When your heart is in the right place,
When your eyes are fixed on His face,
When you seek Him always,

You are God’s gift to women.

Please, never, ever stop making an effort. Never, ever stop stepping into all that He has for you. Never, ever stop fighting for the calling He has placed upon you.

Even when it’s difficult, even when it’s tiring, even when it takes so much of you: keep at it. Never, ever stop using the gifts He has given you. Never, ever stop being the gift He has called you to become.

For when you humbly admit that you aren’t there yet, but you want to be,
When you deliberately take steps, no matter how slowly,

You already are God’s gift to women.

Thank you for all that you are,
And thank you for all that you will be.

Dear Ladies: Guard His Heart

We hear a lot about how we ladies should guard our hearts and we tell men a lot to guard women, but how often do we think about guarding the hearts of guys?

I know we tend to have general boundaries, yet I think now would be a good time to remember to set our boundaries not just according to our weaknesses but also according to theirs. It helps to know that these men are wired differently as individuals and have different triggers, and I believe it is always good to gauge where a man stands in his emotions and vulnerabilities even as you examine yours.

I’ve said this before in a previous post, but it’s worth repeating. When Solomon wrote that one should guard the heart, he was speaking about having wisdom in his heart and protecting it. And so this is a lesson that we should probably never outgrow, keeping this wisdom and guarding it.

Ladies, we’ve all probably heard of the people around us warning us about guys, how they’re only “after one thing” and how they can play around with emotions of girls. And while it is true that some certain guys do that, isn’t it also true that we can be considered just as “dangerous” to them? There is a reason that Proverbs is full of warnings against “the vixen.” We may be aware or unaware of our charms, but trust me when I say that men notice and it is because of such that we ought to be careful. I'm not saying don't be friendly. I'm not saying don't care. I'm simply saying that we have femininity that is considered alluring, and we can choose to use it either as a Delilah or as an Esther.

I want to tell you not to “casually” bump into him on the street. I want to tell you not to do things and even post things on Facebook in attempts to subtly catch his attention when you know he’s not yours to keep. I want to speak about how it’s possible for a girl to play so closely near the line, for no other reason than to see if he’ll show any sign of attraction. I want to go on and on about flirting and leading guys on and body language and a million specific things, but I won’t. I won’t give you a list of dos and how tos. I don’t need to. The only thing I need to tell you is to love the Lord with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself; to love the men in your life with purity and wish no harm – emotionally or otherwise – upon them.

Women, we have a part in inspiring, encouraging, and protecting the men in our lives, no matter how “big, strong, and capable” they already appear. They long for affection and love just as much as we do – and we may be unknowingly filling their tanks when we shouldn’t be. We have just as much power over their hearts as they have over ours.

In the same way, guard his heart from your tongue. Let’s admit it. We can be nagging and condescending and criticizing. We are able to build them up and tear them down with our mere words. Don’t use the power you have to demean, manipulate, or bash. Use your words to challenge, motivate, and set them free to become who they were called to be.

It’s so easy to say that it’s not our obligation and that it’s all up to them to fix their responses to what we do, but isn’t that extremely selfish? It may take a little more effort on our part to be aware of us and of others, but isn’t that what relationships are about? Isn’t that what loving is about?

Doesn't the fact that we're created from man's rib imply how we have a role in  guarding his heart?

It’s amazing to think that the Greek word kosmos translates to adornment in English. As a woman, your source of adornment comes from the source of the cosmos. You are most beautiful when you are immersed in His universe, filled to the brim with His love, grace, and joy, leaving a trail of stars wherever you go. And in the same way that people can feel either belongingness or loneliness as they stare off into the sky, you have the same ability to uplift and to bring down.

You can either pull people into your orbit and get them lost in sheer darkness, or you can show them galaxies of dazzling wonder and inspire them to get launched into worlds of possibilities.

Would you rather use your gravity to make them crash or to make them fly?

Bro, Don’t Me.

Based on a thousand true stories of malilinaw na malabong usapan, though not one of them mine. Rather, these are the collective thoughts of males and females alike who are close to me and have been in such circumstances before. 

Let’s make it clear before this gets too far. Like a puppet-master with a string, you have always known how to pull me to you. But today, I might have to cut the ties.

The Greek have said that emotion must warm reason, but reason must rule emotion. I confess, I can love you in spite of everything. I can give up my “rights” and what I “deserve.” However, I choose not to, not because I choose in selfishness but because I choose in wisdom. I apologize for not standing my ground sooner yet I will not apologize for this, now.

I refuse to allow you to keep waging active warfare against my heart.

Stop messaging me audaciously on Facebook if you can’t even face me properly in person. Stop flirting with my emotions if you can’t take responsibility. Stop strategizing and teasing, drawing me near the boundary lines, tempting me to compromise.

Stop making me forget my worth and who I am in Christ.

I am not a secret kept in the dark; I am to be loved in the light. I am not a trophy to be won; I am to be treasured like the jewel in your crown. I am not a toy to be played around with; I am to be treated as I am – created in the image of Maker, bought by the life of the Savior.

They say boys will be boys, but I refuse to accept that. I don’t want to forget your mantle and who God created you to be, too.

You are not a boy, weak and unsure; you are to be a man, ready to lead and take risks. You are not a slave to your emotions and desires; you are to be a warrior fighting for what is right and true. You are not a player; you are to be who you are – entrusted by the Maker to care for His creation, marked by the love of the Savior.

I will not take the easiest route with you, not if it means settling for less than the quality of relationship God might have for us. I don’t want to keep each other stuck like this. The stakes are simply too high. I deserve better. You deserve better. I refuse to rob you and your future wife of your time and affection, so please don’t rob me and my future husband of mine.

If you’re going to pursue me, then do so the way Christ would want you to pursue me.

Love me with clarity.

How would you feel if your sister is being treated the way you treat me?

Love me with purity.

Brother, a man who looks to Jesus would know how to treat a woman.

A woman’s insecurity is never an excuse for a man’s irresponsibility. And as you do your job, I promise I will do mine.

Man up. Please, don’t me.