Is It Really Wisest To Wait?

“It is wisest to wait.”

How many of us have heard this, have said this, time and time again?

Wait. Until you’ve saved enough money. Until the window of opportunity opens. Until you’re ready.

And I agree, I really do. However, though this may sound contradictory, I think this advice can be mistaken too.

Please don’t get me wrong. Of course, there are finances to be considered. Of course, timing is a huge deal. Of course, there are steps to be taken. But practical doesn’t always mean wise. The truth is, there are some things we just can never be “ready enough” for and it is possible to overstay a season far too long because we keep waiting until “everything falls into place.”

When I think of Mary, who was most probably around 14 years old the time she had Jesus, I can only think of how she was not ready, being unmarried and a virgin at that. Her wildest dreams could not have prepared her for that twist in her story, yet even as she felt troubled and as she questioned the situation, she took a step out in faith and accepted what was to happen next in her life. There is also Rahab, a prostitute who didn’t wait until she “cleaned up her act” to do God’s work and grabbed the opportunity to help a couple of Israelite spies as it came. David, who was only mentally prepared to go deliver food to his brothers when he decided to go where others dare not to, chose to make do with what he had and faced the giant with mere sling and stones – no sword nor armor.

These people didn’t wait to be brave. They didn’t wait until they had all their ducks in a row. They didn’t overthink the pros and cons and turn over every detail to get to the “wisest” strategy or game plan. They took what they had, here and now, and acted in faith.

You know, I always ask myself, “what is the wisest thing to do?”, and with hammered-in views on what wisdom is supposed to look like, that usually leads me down a path that is well thought out and safe. So “to balance things out”, one more thing I ponder on is, what is the faith-full thing to do? In this situation, at this time, what action will require the most faith from me?

. . . but should it really be wisdom vs faith?

Let me tell you something. After I graduated, I was mentally prepared and rather excited to move on to the next season. I was pumped up and ready to do whatever God would have asked of me.

He asked me to stay still and to wait.

At that time, given how it was the complete opposite of what I expected, it required the most faith from me. So I stilled and waited. Fast forward to almost two years later, when waiting had become my comfort zone, God asked me to step out and move. Even if it was still exactly about moving toward the next season, faith now required something different from me. So I took action. My mind and heart were again ready to fully plunge into what was coming. And then after a few weeks, God asked me to wait again when the “best” thing to have done is to jump the iron while it’s hot. He knew that at that moment, the way I was, it would take more faith for me to pause once I got going. (This tango, my friends, is one of the reasons why it’s so difficult to be an all or nothing kind of girl 😅).

But if all that taught me anything, it’s this: maybe wisdom doesn’t mean being rational and faith doesn’t mean being irrational. Maybe wisdom means forgoing reasonable and faith means forgoing risky. Maybe wisdom means doing what is illogical, choosing what is unpredictable, and taking a chance on the uncertain while faith means doing what is logical, choosing what is predictable, and taking a chance on what you already know.

If that was hard for you to follow, let me put it this way: wisdom isn’t simply being practical or sensible. Faith isn’t about being illogical or unreasonable either. This life isn’t a game of wisdom vs faith. The wise act in faith and the faith-full act in wisdom. It takes more for the impulsive to slow down and plan the same way it takes more for the wary to take a dive headfirst into the uncharted, thus it goes the same both ways – choose what frightens you; choose what stretches you; choose what requires the most faith.

So, is it wisest to wait?

Not necessarily. But always,

It is wisest to act in faith.

. . . without faith, it is impossible to please God.
-Hebrews 11:6

Dear Reader: Stop Copying My Convictions

Hello, my dearest reader.

I mean this in the kindest way possible. As you read through this, don’t hear my voice in your head as someone mad or annoyed. Hear the sincerity and the heartfelt concern.

As much as I am immensely grateful that you hold my convictions admirable enough to imitate, I must say this: please know why you’re doing it. If you do it because you understood my point of view and God convicted your heart, then by all means do so. But if you’re doing it only because you feel condemned for not having better convictions, then don’t.

I personally have gone through that. Books such as I Kissed Dating Goodbye (though I have nothing against Joshua Harris) have held my stands captive for a long time because the thought of the books sounded nice. It seemed like I would have been less a Christian if I didn’t follow suit. It appeared to me as if I was marring my purity if I didn’t have the exact same beliefs. And so my entire high school and part of my college life has been lived based upon the stances of other people. I spent that entire time being so concentrated on living like a good, emotionally pure Christian girl that you wouldn’t hear anything else out of my mouth other than love (friends who have known me for at least 3 years would attest to this). In fact, I made a completely new blog because looking back, I was kind of appalled by how much my old blog revolved on romance – as if there wasn’t more to life with God. After constant reading of Christian books and blogs about love, emotional purity, courtship, and romance, I have turned into a well-meaning person who made the opinions of others her own, obsessed with getting things right. I have become legalistic.

My most popular post so far on this blog has been the one about guy friends. And while I am thrilled that so many people related to it, I dearly hope none of them broke it off with their best friends of the opposite sex without thinking through the heart behind it. Contrary to popular belief, guys and girls can have relationships built on purity and integrity without the need to overthink every little thing because they have God in the center. Loving each other as brother and sister is a beautiful thing. 

I used to have a “no texting guys beyond 9 pm” rule in high school because someone said so. I used to avoid going on one on one friendly dates with guys because I read that you “shouldn’t.” Only to discover eventually that constant communication and hanging out with guys don’t deter my heart, and that I was only doing it because I based upon a set of rules to follow, not a personal relationship with God. But people, being a Christian isn’t based on a formula. It’s based on having intimacy with the Father.

Gain as much wisdom as you can from these kinds of blogs, but never map out your life in such a way simply to fit a box that seems right. If it’s extra-biblical and it’s not sin, then know that we all have free will in Christ, and you have the right to use your own mind. Know what your spiritual family and leader has to say about it and listen intently, for Christianity still has massively to do with us as a body. Take the ideas you get and consider them. Know your past, know what would make your heart weak, know what you struggle with, know not to cause others to stumble. Don’t live off of the relationships God has with other people because everyone has different histories and stories. Seek Him on your own. Ask God what He would have you do. Is it wise or is it compromise? Would it bring Him glory? Would He be pleased? Would He be honored? Then proceed to hold convictions based upon this awareness.

The most important thing here is that you live a life that is led by the Holy Spirit, a life that is worthy of what Jesus has done, a life that worships the Father in all areas. Develop such an interaction with Him that every decision you make and every word you speak is lifted up to Him. Know what kind of person He wants you to be. And I dearly hope that at all times, you will be in tune to His heart.

Again, this is for extra-biblical matters. For convictions on issues such as homosexuality and pre-marital sex, I have this to say: sin is sin. He will never ever lead you to anything that goes against what He has said in the Bible, remember that. If you feel led to hold convictions that goes against the Scriptures, then know that it isn’t the Holy Spirit leading you.

And for everyone else out there, please know that more uptight convictions don’t make you a better person, so don’t look down on people who hold different views. It’s about God’s grace, not our strength or accomplishments. I remember having seen a wedding video of someone bragging about how he chose not to say “I love you” before they wedded and how he told others to do the same. Now let me tell you, saying “I love you” or holding hands before you get married isn’t defrauding. Don’t get me wrong, I hold admiration for people who do, but simply because it’s what they believe in and not because it’s a trophy to hang on their wall.

We don’t live by formula. I don’t post everything I do for God on Facebook because I don’t understand how it magnifies Him more than me. That doesn’t make me more of a Christian than those who do. I no longer have time constraints as to when I text and I meet up alone with guy friends because it’s not something I struggle with. It doesn’t make me less a Christian than those who don’t. Just as long as we take up our crosses and live surrendered to Him, honor Him in everything, don’t steal any form of glory from Him, and stay aligned to His will, then we’re just fine. Life with God is living under His grace and having freedom under His truth, not under a set of made-up rules.

And so as you continue to walk with me through this blog, I hope it imparts wisdom and truth, inspires you to seek His heart, and points you to His glory, not confine you or the way you live. 

Don’t imitate me or any other writer or preacher out there. Imitate Jesus. And live life to the full. 

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.

The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom, and whatever you get, get insight. Prize her highly, and she will exalt you; she will honor you if you embrace her. She will place on your head a graceful garland; she will bestow on you a beautiful crown.

Do not enter the path of the wicked, and do not walk in the way of the evil. Avoid it; do not go on it; turn away from it and pass on.

Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you. Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure. Do not swerve to the right or to the left; turn your foot away from evil.”
-‭‭Proverbs‬ 3:5-7; ‭4:7-9, 14-15, 26-27‬