Dear Ladies: Guard His Heart

We hear a lot about how we ladies should guard our hearts and we tell men a lot to guard women, but how often do we think about guarding the hearts of guys?

I know we tend to have general boundaries, yet I think now would be a good time to remember to set our boundaries not just according to our weaknesses but also according to theirs. It helps to know that these men are wired differently as individuals and have different triggers, and I believe it is always good to gauge where a man stands in his emotions and vulnerabilities even as you examine yours.

I’ve said this before in a previous post, but it’s worth repeating. When Solomon wrote that one should guard the heart, he was speaking about having wisdom in his heart and protecting it. And so this is a lesson that we should probably never outgrow, keeping this wisdom and guarding it.

Ladies, we’ve all probably heard of the people around us warning us about guys, how they’re only “after one thing” and how they can play around with emotions of girls. And while it is true that some certain guys do that, isn’t it also true that we can be considered just as “dangerous” to them? There is a reason that Proverbs is full of warnings against “the vixen.” We may be aware or unaware of our charms, but trust me when I say that men notice and it is because of such that we ought to be careful. I'm not saying don't be friendly. I'm not saying don't care. I'm simply saying that we have femininity that is considered alluring, and we can choose to use it either as a Delilah or as an Esther.

I want to tell you not to “casually” bump into him on the street. I want to tell you not to do things and even post things on Facebook in attempts to subtly catch his attention when you know he’s not yours to keep. I want to speak about how it’s possible for a girl to play so closely near the line, for no other reason than to see if he’ll show any sign of attraction. I want to go on and on about flirting and leading guys on and body language and a million specific things, but I won’t. I won’t give you a list of dos and how tos. I don’t need to. The only thing I need to tell you is to love the Lord with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself; to love the men in your life with purity and wish no harm – emotionally or otherwise – upon them.

Women, we have a part in inspiring, encouraging, and protecting the men in our lives, no matter how “big, strong, and capable” they already appear. They long for affection and love just as much as we do – and we may be unknowingly filling their tanks when we shouldn’t be. We have just as much power over their hearts as they have over ours.

In the same way, guard his heart from your tongue. Let’s admit it. We can be nagging and condescending and criticizing. We are able to build them up and tear them down with our mere words. Don’t use the power you have to demean, manipulate, or bash. Use your words to challenge, motivate, and set them free to become who they were called to be.

It’s so easy to say that it’s not our obligation and that it’s all up to them to fix their responses to what we do, but isn’t that extremely selfish? It may take a little more effort on our part to be aware of us and of others, but isn’t that what relationships are about? Isn’t that what loving is about?

Doesn't the fact that we're created from man's rib imply how we have a role in  guarding his heart?

It’s amazing to think that the Greek word kosmos translates to adornment in English. As a woman, your source of adornment comes from the source of the cosmos. You are most beautiful when you are immersed in His universe, filled to the brim with His love, grace, and joy, leaving a trail of stars wherever you go. And in the same way that people can feel either belongingness or loneliness as they stare off into the sky, you have the same ability to uplift and to bring down.

You can either pull people into your orbit and get them lost in sheer darkness, or you can show them galaxies of dazzling wonder and inspire them to get launched into worlds of possibilities.

Would you rather use your gravity to make them crash or to make them fly?

A Kind-of-Photo-Blog: 20 Things As I Turn 20

I realized that this blog hasn’t been a personal space really. And while I don’t plan on making it too much of such, this post would be a peek into my life. I hope that reading this one would make you appreciate life in all of its entirety – grand or ordinary. ✨

I turned 20 last March 1, FINALLY. Please don’t say twen-teen because I am fully embracing my age as I have waited 5 years to turn 20, no joke. 😅 And so to share my rejoicing, here are 20 things dear to me:

This blog and the readers

This space will turn a year old soon, and I continue to be amazed at how far God has brought this blog. Never did I expect that this would turn out the way it did, and I’ve got to give a shout out to you amazing people who continue to be interested in what I have to say. I am humbled and I stand in awe of your beautiful, receptive hearts. I hope you see His glory overtaking me, always. 🙌🏻

Amazing friends

Old friends, new friends, unexpected friends, and everything in between. I am blessed to have people in my life who would spend 12-hours on a bus to visit my hometown and constantly exchange messages to endure the physical distance; ones I can joyously walk life with – through seriousness and silliness.

             

Good food, tastebuds, and great metabolism

I cannot thank God enough for making eating such an enjoyable routine and for giving me such a metabolism that I can eat every second of the day, not work out, and still not gain weight.

   
    
 (particularly Dark Chocolate, Gummy Candy, and Fruits)

Take my word for it, go and try Brookside Dark Chocolate with Fruit Centers, Godiva Dark Chocolate Covered Pretzels, Amberlyn Almonds in Belgian Dark Chocolate, and Airheads Bites. I eat these three times a day… And more.

  
Also, fruits, because I’m always craving for them and they’re healthy and yummy.

Books

Particularly the ones in physical form, not e-books.

  
Lip tints

Allow me this and the next item. I don’t know how to apply any other kind of make up so these spruce up my entire look immediately. I managed to buy so much of these and I continue to collect them in every shade possible.

Clothes

Fact: I wear maxis and jumpsuits even if I’m just staying at home. Combine this with the previous item and the next one: I am the girly girl who sucks at being girly.

Nature and Adventures

Road-tripping at least a hundred kilometers has become a daily thing for me. I have jumped from a 60-foot tree, hiked for hours barefoot in the mud up a mountain in the rain with no guide (but with an OOTD-worthy outfit), and climbed rocks to dive in rivers. I have gone on so many adventures this past year, His glory is magnificently seen be it through bright lightning storms or soft lilac sunsets, and I am SO ready for more.

   
    
    
  
   

Victory Ilagan

The people and their hearts continually humble me. They’ve just started and there’s still so far to go, but there is such an anointing over this body. The volunteers who are there every single day, even in the midst of finals or night shifts at work, amaze me with their willingness and commitment.

   
 

Victory Malate

A family I can always go back home to.

  

Service workers

This is so random but I have great appreciation for service workers. I cannot imagine how hard they work day in and day out – through the sun and rain. May the job be waiting tables, cleaning streets, or directing traffic – I cannot picture the physical toll and stress. May we all thank them for all they do.

Time

Time to know God more, time to know myself more, and time to rest and be at peace. Even in the midst of back-to-back events and daily services, there is the luxury of sitting at His feet for lengths of time without rush. I am still at the point of waiting without knowing what I’m waiting for, but I am grateful for the time knowing I won’t have as much eventually.

  

Family

I have been a university graduate for almost 2 years now but my parents not once pressured me to work and figure out what I want already. They have spent the past 25 years faithfully loving each other and being cheesy. I have siblings who I can be open with and who put up with my weirdness and crazy. I have extended relatives who are unbelievably tight and supportive even if we’re countries apart. I couldn’t be more grateful.

   

Music

Top of mind, my Christian faves this past year has to be by Bethel Music, Elevation Worship, Hillsong Worship, Hillsong United, and Victory Worship. Non-Christian current playlist, I have Always by Panama, Bright by Echosmith, and Love is Beginning by Imaginary Future on repeat.

  
 

Kids

I’ve wanted to have kids since I was a 10-year old kid. No joke.

   
    
     

JaDine

James Reid and Nadine Lustre – the only celebrities (local or international) I follow and I fangirled over, ever. For the first time in my life, I watched a Filipino television show – all because of them. I must confess, I pray for them, I fight for them, and I media-stalk them. Seriously, just looking at photos of them makes me smile. I don’t know what has gotten over me. However, over conversations about them, I got to build friendships with people I never would have expected. I speak nothing but life and blessings over them and anyone who would dare say otherwise – may God keep you accountable for the words you speak. 🙈

     
 

Theology

A relationship with God simply cannot be built on experience alone. It is built upon solid doctrines as well, so that the foundations of that which one holds on to is actually of truth. I’ve been diving into it more and more, and I believe every believer should too.

Brave worship

The kind that offers broken perfume bottles at His feet, the kind that is fixated on His glory and nothing else, the kind that lives out. Worship that is true, authentic, and abandoned.

  

Truth and Grace; Love and Justice

Always both, complementing and never contradicting.

The Triune God

The Father who formed every crevice of my being, the Son who gave up His life to give me mine, the Holy Spirit who surrounds me every second of every day. Forever, I will be caught up in the mystery and the majesty.

  

Holy

It has always been the attribute of God that I highlighted the most, but this past year moreso. I love His love and I couldn’t live without it, but on a personal note, it is in holy that I feel His glory most, piercing through my being. It would be my one word for Him, and it would be the one word that encompasses all I am to be.

  

  

Quite frankly, I spent a good part of this past year being broken, but I still consider it the best year of my life so far simply because there is always joy that surpasses all circumstances. There was wonder in the brokenness for it was in brokenness that I became whole. There was so much beauty in the ruins. And I want to encourage of all of you: there is sunshine behind every dark cloud. There is always something to be grateful for. He is the breath in our lungs. Christ still came down for us. No matter what goes on, He is sill worthy of praise.  Life is so, so beautiful. I love every second of mine, and I am looking forward for so much more. Thank you for being a part of my journey and I believe the best is yet to come! ✨

“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

-‭‭Colossians‬ ‭3:17‬ ‭